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The Perks Of Being Scarcely Available

Have you ever wondered why introverted people are more attractive? How often have you had an attraction towards someone that seemed to melt away the moment they started being friendly to you? Have you realized how often men and women crush on those from other streams or colleges?  There seems to be an aura around people who don't communicate to us much. They seem to have a veiled mystery in them and there is something about their presence that is often queer yet magnetic. Often, people romanticize those who are distant to them and sadly take for granted those who are nearer to them. Maybe that's why feelings of attraction often fade away in the first few months of a relationship, making space for a lot of trust and commitment from both sides to make it work. I always knew there was something common about a few personalities that attracted me. When I came across the video from The School of Life, 'The Charms of Unavailable People', I actually could figure out what it was...
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The 80-20 Rule In Relationships

On reading the book 'The Four Hour Work Week' only a few weeks back, I came across a principle that blew my mind-'Pareto Principle' aka 'The 80-20 Rule'. As per the rule, 20% of input( time, resources, effort) accounts for 80% output(results, rewards). When I investigated the principle further, I was astounded to see how much it made sense in my life. Just like Pareto said, almost 80% of my happiness and growth came from about only 20% of areas where I invested my time and energy. On the flip side, I spent 80% of my time, either on nonsensical things or on doing what was somehow detrimental to my growth and happiness. I understood Pareto's principle even better when I started analyzing my relationships with people in general. Most of us are fortunate enough to know at least some people in our lives who we can count on in times of need, the ones that applaud us when we achieve something worthwhile, the ones that uplift us, love us, bring out the best in us. L...

Dealing With Irrational Fears

If you're like me, you've surely woken up at midnight and despite not wanting it to pop up at that hour of the night, thoughts about the recent horror movie you've watched just showed up. This created some difficult emotions inside of you. You didn't like them and tried to remind yourself that 'it's all in the mind'. But then, other scary scenes seemed to pop up in your head and you ended up tossing and turning around in your bed trying to force yourself to sleep in an unconscious attempt to make this fearful emotion go away. In case you fell asleep, bravo! But if you didn't, you were stuck there, resisting difficult emotions inside of you, offering yourself countless explanations on why you shouldn't think in a particular way. But, the fear never subsided, it was there making you uncomfortable. It was relentless, stubborn and didn't seem to go away. I remember when I was a school-girl, I used to be afraid to go to the balcony alone at midnight f...

Subtle Remembrance

There could be times in our lives when situations overwhelm us. We could wake up in the morning heavy-hearted for no reasons. We could grow cynical of everyone and everything. There could be times when we lose touch with our purpose, when we forget why we're here. There could be times when our minds are inundated with intrusive thoughts. We might hit rock-bottom. There could be times when we might not be able to connect to anyone. There could be times when we're lost, confused or agitated. There could be times when our minds are constantly navigating the past and the future. There  could be times when we are filled with guilt, remorse, rage and fear and the pain seems insurmountable. At those times, especially and more importantly at those times, it's necessary to remember the peace and positivity we exuded as children. It's important to remember the mindset and heartset we had when we felt loved and appreciated. It's important to remember hope in the eyes of our lo...